I’m a junkie
I have always known food was a go to for me. But this morning was the first time I became aware of the actual numbing and altering effect it has. I was very stressed
And had been arguing. I had several anxiety attacks and was shaking. I sat down and began to eat some breakfast. Whoosh! It was like I would imagine heroin would feel if I ever injected it. I became instantly aware as to why I am morbidly obese. As the food began its first digestion process in my mouth and then mystomach I began to feel a sense of relief or euphoria if you will. I felt the pain, fear, anger and anxiety melting away. The peace was as intense as the anxiety. Almost orgasmic. I finished til I was full and realized that I am truly a junkie. Never before had I been so aware of the effect and relief it gave me and til this moment. I am an addict. I use food to numb my pain. My track marks are my rolls of fat and stretch marks. I need help.

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